Relationship Intimacy Inventory

Here are some practical questions and issues that might help couples get started in understanding intimacy.

Couple’s practical dimensions of Intimacy

1. Was I willing to initiate interactions w/my spouse?
2. Was I emotionally present with my spouse?
3. Did I follow through with tasks – do what I said I was going to do?
4. Did I have an attitude of gratitude?
5. Was I open & vulnerable?
6. Did I demonstrate nurturing attitudes and behaviors – empathy, validation, comfort, compassion?
7. Was I honest?
8. Did I play with my spouse – have fun?

Deeper/Hidden Issues – Fuel for the eruption/separation if neglected by words, actions & behaviors

1. Power & Control – Voice – does my spouse feel heard?
2. Care – Does my spouse feel cared for by my words, actions and behaviors?
3. Respect & Recognition – Do I show respect? Is my spouses value/worth recognized?
4. Commitment – do my words, actions and behaviors show I am committed to relationship?
5. Acceptance – Do I accept my spouse is different – feelings, personality, temperament – not try to control or change?
6. Integrity – Do I operate in relationship with openness, honesty and transparency…nothing to hide.

Seven Desires of the Heart – Spiritual/Relationship Intimacy

1. Desire to be Heard
2. Desire to be affirmed
3. Desire to be blessed
4. Desire to be safe
5. Desire to be touched in healthy, non sexual ways
6. Desire to feel chosen
7. Desire to be included

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Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT

Sexual Addiction Therapist at Front Range Counseling Center

Kevin Leapley specializes in both marriage counseling and sexual addiction therapy for men. Kevin has received specialized training by Dr. Patrick Carnes and obtained his CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist). Kevin has also received extensive training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and is a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist .

Latest posts by Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT (see all)

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