Denver and Littleton Counselors

Hold Me Tight Marriage Conversation In Sue Johnson’s book, Hold Me Tight, the first three of her seven conversations reduce tension in the relationship and prepares a couple for the fourth conversation, fittingly named after her book, “Hold Me Tight.” This dialogue builds and strengthens the bond between the couple and begins to transform the relationship. […]

Demon Dialogues Marriage Killer In Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Dr. Sue Johnson uses the term, “Demon Dialogues,” to describe the destructive cycles of conflict that many couples experience in their failing marriage. The first step in EFCT is to help a couple identify the damaging dance that they regularly have, when they have it, […]

Emotional Responsiveness In Marriages In Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, there are seven conversations with a goal of encouraging “a special kind of emotional responsiveness” that strengthens a couples’ love. Couples in distress are not experiencing these three aspects of emotional connection. The emotional response contains three main parts: A.R.E. (Accessibility, Responsiveness, & Engagement): 1) Accessibility: […]

Increasing Marital Fondness And Admiration Every married couple has had past positive feelings for their spouse and those feelings can be exhumed simply by thinking and talking about them. Increasing marital positive feelings isn’t difficult. You can do this by thinking about your wife or husband and his/her positive qualities. The more you focus on […]

Sexual Addiction Recovery Requires Facing Ourselves In sexual addiction recovery, step 4 requires making “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Sexual issues, for the person struggling with sexual addiction, is not the main issue that needs to be faced and resolved in recovery but rather a symptom of a deeper issue. Step 4 […]

Key Connection Moments Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) attachment perspective of love provides a key insight into understanding poisonous cycles in marriage relationships. There are key connection moments that either break or make a relationship.

The First Step: Admitting Sex Addiction The second core belief of a sex addict is “If you knew me, I mean really knew me, you’d reject me.” This core belief keeps men and women that struggle with sexual addiction from admitting sex addiction to others and asking for help. Experience has demonstrated that sharing the addiction […]

Marriage Contempt Antidotes The research on what makes a marriage happy is fairly an obvious answer: happy marriages have partners that really like each other. The opposite is true: unhappily married couples do not like each other. Fondness and admiration are foundations to a couple’s continued friendship. Spouse Positive Qualities A great tool for staying […]

Step One: Admitting Powerlessness & Unmanageability The First Step of the twelve step program states, “We admitted that we were powerless over lust, that our lives had become unmanageable.” Many of the men that schedule their first counseling appointment with me have not yet fully embraced the first step of recovery or surrender. Often, they […]

Nurturing Marriage Fondness & Admiration In working with couples in a marriage counseling sessions, I often look for any signs of fondness and admiration. If there is signs, then the marriage is salvageable. In the first session, I often ask one spouse to share with me how they met and eventually married each other. Recalling […]

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