Denver and Littleton Counselors

Marriage Contempt Antidotes The research on what makes a marriage happy is fairly an obvious answer: happy marriages have partners that really like each other. The opposite is true: unhappily married couples do not like each other. Fondness and admiration are foundations to a couple’s continued friendship. Spouse Positive Qualities A great tool for staying […]



Step One: Admitting Powerlessness & Unmanageability The First Step of the twelve step program states, “We admitted that we were powerless over lust, that our lives had become unmanageable.” Many of the men that schedule their first counseling appointment with me have not yet fully embraced the first step of recovery or surrender. Often, they […]



Nurturing Marriage Fondness & Admiration In working with couples in a marriage counseling sessions, I often look for any signs of fondness and admiration. If there is signs, then the marriage is salvageable. In the first session, I often ask one spouse to share with me how they met and eventually married each other. Recalling […]



Knowing Your Spouse Equals Intimacy Every marriage desires intimacy within the relationship and true intimacy derives from “knowing” each other. You have probably heard the saying “intimacy” as “into-me-you-see.” Marriage intimacy is knowing your spouse and your spouse knowing you. Knowledge creates a strong foundation to face marital conflicts and storms. Couples that take a […]



Marriage Principle 1: Enhance Your Love Maps Many marriages consist of one partner becoming emotionally detached from the other due to a pattern of inattention to the details of their spouse’s life. The end result is that the spouse who is inattentive does not know the other spouse’s likes, dislikes, fears, frustrations, joys. This spouse […]



Marital Divorce Indicators When a marriage has harsh startups, the four horseman marriage killers (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling), flooding, negative body language, failed repair attempts and the couple has rewritten their history, it is essentially guaranteed that the marriage will fail without help. The spouses in this relationship will be hypervigilant to conflict; seemingly in a constant […]



Warning Sign #7: Bad Memories Couples that have become consumed by their negativity and conflicts can begin to rewrite their past history as being mostly negative. The negativity affects their memories of their pre-wedding dating experiences, wedding day, their first years being married, and up to the present day. Gottman’s research identifies bad memories as […]



Shared Meaning Marriages Equals Strong Marriages In the Gottman Marriage Research Institute, their research into happy marriages determined that strong marriages possess shared meaning. Partners that have a sense of shared meaning  support each other’s dreams, desires, and create a sense of purpose into their future. In this sense of shared meaning, they demonstrate respect and […]



Happy Couples Relationship Friendship One of the most important keys to happy couples is that they have a friendship at their foundation. Friendship doesn’t mean that the couple won’t have arguments but it does give the a tool to keep the conflict from getting out of hand. For example, in a heated disagreement, one of […]



Mutually Supportive Relationship When a marriage is marked by negative sentiment, it is impossible for a couple to build a mutually supportive relationship. Each partner in this marriage will assume the worst about each other to such a negative degree that they will be in a constant cycle of conflict and bad feelings. A relationship […]



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