Marriage Counselors & Sex Addiction Therapists

Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT

Attachment Theory & Relationship Anxiety Attachment theory explains that our partners represent both a safe haven and a secure base. If our partner is neither emotionally available or responsive, our external world can feel overwhelming and threatening. In helping marriages heal from past betrayal, re-establishing trust is extremely important for the relationship to survive. Inside […]

Anger Management Coping Styles Passive Anger Management Coping Style The passive anger management coping style is characterized by a desire to avoid offending people and conflict in all situations. To push for what you want can feel too scary especially if it produces conflicts with those around you. The passive person often says nothing about […]

Anger Isn’t Always Negative How do people behave when they are angry? Anger isn’t always negative. It can be a force for good. Moral outrage can drive people to campaign for change, right wrongs and enforce the rules that govern our society. Marriage counselors often see the damage caused by anger.

Anger Management Distortions: Over-Generalizations Any problem can be made to look bigger or more important by using words like “never,” “always,” “nobody,” “everybody,” etc. This is a way of making an occasional occurrence feel like an intolerable ongoing even. By exaggerating, you go way beyond the truth of the situation and set yourself up for […]

Traits For Relationships Science says lasting relationships come down to—you guessed it—kindness and generosity. Every day in June, the most popular wedding month of the year, about 13,000 American couples will say “I do,” committing to a lifelong relationship that will be full of friendship, joy, and love that will carry them forward to their […]

Anger Management Issues Anger Management Issues requires a person to stop blaming others for his or her own anger. Blaming is the most self-destructive anger distortion. The same can be true in marriage counseling and blaming the other partner. The mistaken belief that underlies blaming is that other people are doing bad things to you, […]

Emotion Regulation: Observing Yourself Without Judging Yourself Self-Destructive behaviors can only offer you temporary relief. In the long term, they are all more damaging to yourself and others. For this reason, it’s important that you begin to notice what the rewards are for all your behaviors, but especially the self-destructive ones. This is the key […]

What is Sexual Addiction It is important to understand that sex addiction is a “solution” to pain, past trauma, and anxiety – addiction literally becomes a coping mechanism. If somebody starts doing something to cope, and if they do it long enough, the body adjusts to the point that it needs that level of activity […]

What is the Problem with Lust? So, what is lust?  That is a huge question.   Lust is the opposite of love.  Lust tries to take the place of love.  Lust takes the place of God.  Lust is about taking, while love is about giving.  Lust is never satisfied and it always wants more and more. […]

Often in relationships where addiction is present, the couple will play a rotating roles of “Persecutor/Perpetrator”, “Victim”, and “Rescuer”.  This is is called a “Drama Triangle.”  These are roles that both the partners learned in childhood as normal and each don’t recognize the drama that occurs and the cycle of dysfunction that never seems to […]

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