Setting Boundaries for Sexual Addiction Recovery: #6 “Substances”

Dr. Patrick Carnes has described addiction as the avoidance of reality at any cost and recovery as facing reality at any cost.  Therefore, recovery from sex addiction cannot be accomplished without establishing boundaries against using other substances (i.e, alcohol, drugs, or food) to alter your mood or avoid reality.

For many sex addicts, stopping the sexual acting out will cause their minds to go through withdrawal.  The brain reacts when there is no longer a shot of chemicals caused by the sexual compulsion to numb the underlying pain.  Withdrawal symptoms include: headaches, depression, anxiety, body pains, sleeping and eating difficulties, and even gastrointestinal disorders.  All come from the sex addict not being able to deal with stress and real life issues.  The sex addict may not want to deal with the pain of withdrawal and simply turn to alcohol, drugs, or food to dumb his pain.

In his many years of working with sex addicts, Dr. Carnes has found that many sex addicts also use drugs, alcohol, and/or food to medicate painful feelings, memories, or other uncomfortable realities.  When the sex addict goes into recovery for sex addiction, he may abuse marijuana, alcohol, or food as a way to numb the pain that had been medicated with sex.   Recovery cannot be successful as long as the sex addict continues to avoid reality by using other mood altering substances.

Check off below the substances that you have used and/or abused in the past to deal with your underlying pain.  Even if you don’t think it has been a problem, still check it and discuss with your therapist, support group, clergy, and/or sponsor.  Simply place a checkmark next to the substance that you have used in the past, present, or are in danger of using in the future.  In the “overeating” category, enter the food types that you want to avoid eating:

____  Alcohol (beer, wine, or hard alcohol)                        ____ Heroin

____  Marijuana/Pot                                                             ____  Cocaine/Crack

____  Prescription Drugs                                                     ____  Other Drugs

____  Food

Types of food to avoid:

______________________________________

______________________________________

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Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT

Sexual Addiction Therapist at Front Range Counseling Center

Kevin Leapley specializes in both marriage counseling and sexual addiction therapy for men. Kevin has received specialized training by Dr. Patrick Carnes and obtained his CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist). Kevin has also received extensive training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and is a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist .

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