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Relapse Isn’t the End of the World

By Tyler White, MA, LPCC on Tuesday, May 20th, 2025 in General Mental Health. No Comments

I work with a significant number of clients that are struggling through various forms of addiction. One of the most common experiences for those going through addiction is relapse. While relapse is hard, often discouraging, and can leave clients and those that love them feeling gutted, I don’t believe it’s all negative. In fact, with my clients going through addiction, relapse happens to be the time where many of them learn the most. It has been after relapse that I have seen clients gain life-changing insight that has propelled them forward.

One of Michael Jordan’s most famous quotes is, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over in my life. And that is why I succeed.” MJ is one of the greatest basketball players of all time. He is known for his success, yet even he does not point to his success as his greatest teacher.

Relapse is widely regarded as failure. It is when the desire for the substance, feeling, or felt need overwhelms an individual’s ability to choose what is best for themselves. However, it is not just a failure, it can be a teacher. I say “can be a teacher” because it is important that there is a decision to be made here. If someone after a relapse decides that this relapse defines them, it will. However, the moment of failure can be the best possible teacher for them if they decide they want it to be. Imagine if MJ let any of his misses or losses define him. He wouldn’t be regarded as one of the all-time greats. Instead, he learned, grew, and progressed directly out of his failure. If we let it be, failure is a far better teacher than success can ever be.

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Tyler White, MA, LPCC

As a therapist, I operate from a number of different modalities, including person centered, cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), internal family systems (IFS), and attachment theory.

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