I am passionate in helping individuals and couples grow through inner healing and valued recovery through individual, couples and group therapy. I specifically provide therapy for the treatment of all couples, couples dealing with sexual addiction and betrayal and individual men and women recovering from the impacts of unhealthy intimacy building skills, unhealthy communication and boundaries, emotional abandonment, sexual addiction, infidelity, and intimacy disorders.
I have received focused and specialized training that assists couples develop healthy and intimate relationships, and those couples recovering from the impacts of the betrayal from sexual addiction and infidelity. My specialty is helping all couples develop skills, tools and ways to develop deep intimacy in their relationship. I work with couple’s through private therapy sessions as well as conducting couple’s recovery groups. I help couples learn healthy boundaries, healthy communication and conflict resolution skills. I work with clients in helping them understand their emotional needs and the deeper issues and desires in a healthy relationship. Clients are empowered to take responsibility and accountability in making healthier choices in their lives and relationships. Through this, couples learn how to develop and increase healthy intimacy in their relationships, learning to know each other more deeply (emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, socially and physically), trust each other at deeper levels and learn how to rely on each other. This deepens the couples commitment to the relationship in building a healthy relationship attachment and connection.
I do individual and group work with men dealing with an intimacy disorder which can result in sexual addiction behaviors (porn, compulsive masturbation, affairs, prostitutes etc) as a way to avoid relational pain – fear of being hurt by anyone who knows them; this includes fear of relational vulnerability, fear of being known, fear of being rejected and fear of being abandoned. This can result in sexually acting out behaviors to medicate their relational pain….much like an alcoholic/drug user medicates pain. I use Intimacy Exposure Therapy (learning how to develop healthy intimate relationships) and Acceptance Committment Therapy (ACT) to allow men to learn to handle pain, not react to fix it and then choose valued action through building healthy self worth and intimate relationships (respond).
I also work with clients to determine the underlying wounds or trauma that he is using the sex to numb, medicate, escape, and alleviate. Sexual addiction is not just about wanting more sex but rather it is a relational and intimacy wound that began in early development. The “wound” is usually related to past abandonment, physical or emotional abuse, rejection, low self-worth, shame, and/or disconnection by parent, caregiver, family, and friends. The sexual behaviors have become a pseudo-connection that will never hurt him, leave him, or reject him. The goal is not simply to stop the sexual behaviors but to learn new ways to connect and trust others to meet his needs.
SPOUSES OF BETRAYAL
I am also is specialized in working with spouse’s/partner’s of those struggling with sex addiction and intimacy disorder. I develop a strong therapeutic bond with the spouse in normalizing the emotion and pain they are experiencing. I work with betrayed partner in dealing with the deep emotional trauma and grieving of loss created by the trauma as a result of relationship betrayal. I become an ally in healing through witnessing the pain of betrayal and by helping the spouse/partner process the hurt and sadness they are experiencing. I also assist the spouse to grow in their own health and recovery through developing healthy boundaries, having a healthy voice, self-care and developing healthy support networks which help the spouse/partner move forward in realizing their own self-value and worth.
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor with a Master’s Degree from Denver Seminary and a Business Degree from the University of Denver. Steven is PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) trained, Prepare/Enrich Certified and belongs to several professional counseling organizations such as AACC, ACA and APA. Steven is also a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional in the International Association of Trauma Professionals (IATP) and Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) trained.
Before becoming a counselor, Steven has been a senior executive in the corporate world for over 20 years. Steven has been happily married over 35 years and has three adult children.
50-minute Individual Session = $120/each
50-minute Couples Session = $120/each
75-minute Couples Session = $180/each