Marriage Counselors & Sex Addiction Therapists

sexual addiction counseling Archives -

Relationship Killer: Anger Anger isn’t a bad emotion. However, the behaviors that people exhibit when they feel angry can make it a relationship killer. Anger problems are at the root of many marital issues. Sometimes people aren’t aware that their anger is a problem (but often others around them are). The extent of an anger problem […]

People in marriage often don’t know simple ways to develop and foster intimacy in their relationship….they think it should just happen or it’s too much work. Intimacy is about being known in various ways and areas of a relationship. All it takes is an effort to connect with your spouse on a daily basis. A […]

Restored After An Affair Restoring trust after betrayal can only be accomplished with consistent openness, truthfulness, honesty and consideration consistently over time. You can’t make someone trust you again, but you can demonstrate you are a trustworthy person. If you do this consistently over time, the spouse may learn to trust again. Two concepts (rules) […]

What is Sexual Addiction It is important to understand that sex addiction is a “solution” to pain, past trauma, and anxiety – addiction literally becomes a coping mechanism. If somebody starts doing something to cope, and if they do it long enough, the body adjusts to the point that it needs that level of activity […]

What is the Problem with Lust? So, what is lust?  That is a huge question.   Lust is the opposite of love.  Lust tries to take the place of love.  Lust takes the place of God.  Lust is about taking, while love is about giving.  Lust is never satisfied and it always wants more and more. […]

Often in relationships where addiction is present, the couple will play a rotating roles of “Persecutor/Perpetrator”, “Victim”, and “Rescuer”.  This is is called a “Drama Triangle.”  These are roles that both the partners learned in childhood as normal and each don’t recognize the drama that occurs and the cycle of dysfunction that never seems to […]

Sexual Addiction Recovery Support System Every person that struggles with sexual addiction and desires recovery will need to have a support community of other recovering sex addicts. Initially, my clients will often be resistant to joining either a counseling group or 12-step sex addiction recovery group.  My response is “If you are truly sick and […]

“The pursuit of purity is not about the suppression of lust, but about the reorientation of one’s life to a larger goal.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer Often in recovery from sexual addiction, the goal is to stop the out of control sexual behaviors and to maintain sexual sobriety.  I believe this is a healthy and good goal […]

Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction Often I hear the question from men “What is the big deal with watching porn?  It is legal and no one gets hurt.  Isn’t it normal for men to watch porn?” My reply is to challenge the question about it being “normal”.  I usually affirm that it is probably normal but […]

The JAMA Psychiatry article publish in May 2014 is the first brain-scan study on porn users.  According to the results of the study, Researchers found several brain changes that correlated with the amount of porn was consumed. The people that were studied were moderate porn users, not classified as addicted. In this study, experts at Germany’s Max Planck Institute […]

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