All of us are born into this world needing to feel secure in a of loving family relationship, and that need for a safe emotional bond continues until the end of our lives. If you fear that your partner isn’t there for you, that you don’t really matter to him or her, or that you can’t turn to your partner for comfort and strength, your relationship can easily slip into negative patterns that reinforce your fears and feeling of disconnection. Our marriage counselors focus on understanding these cycles and work with you on changing these negative interaction cycles in a non-judgmental, non-blaming environment. Your therapist will help you recognize and eventually communicate and express your emotional needs for love, support, safety and comfort.
Our primary goal is to help make your relationship a safe haven for you and your partner and together, we strive to fulfill your primary needs — to feel close, secure and responded to — which is at the foundation of your relationship conflict.
We have a team of dedicated professional marriage counselors and relationship therapists who are ready to provide competent and compassionate help that will save your marriage and create a safe bond that allows for your partner to share deeper.
Our center believes that relationship challenges are a great opportunity for couples to grow, to heal, to learn, and to make changes for a better marriage. Marriage counseling provides the opportunity for couples facing all kinds of issues to deepen their commitment, enhance communication, and strengthen the marital bond. One of the biggest challenges most couples face during the course of their relationship is learning how to effectively express feelings and emotions in ways that are healthy and respectful.
Research shows that most couples wait an average of seven years after they realize that there are problems in their relationship making the call to setup a couples counseling session. We encourage not to wait that long! Marital conflict and divorce damages each spouse, their children and increases their financial problems, health problems, and spiritual and mental health problems.
If you feel overwhelmed, powerless or hopeless in your relationship, marriage counseling can help. With the right relationship therapist you can get more of what you want – a successful relationship, happiness, self confidence, or even more energy in your life.
So, when should you seek counseling? When you experience:
The Cycle or “Dance” of Marital Conflict
The marriage bond is so important to each person that when it is threatened, either through fighting, emotional disengagement, or perceived abandonment (i.e., affair, porn, prostitutes), the person will begin to protest by complaining, demanding, or “attacking” the spouse out of hurt and anger, or fall into self-protective withdrawal. The protesting or withdrawing will then follow by a response by the other by his or her own protest or more withdraw. The cycle of the “dance begins and will only get worse with more protests and more withdraws, driving them further and further apart and leading to common feelings of anger, isolation, loneliness, and despair. This “dance” can go on for years and years until one or both give up on the relationship and the relationship ends in sadness.
Goals For Marriage Counseling
Our marriage and relationship counselors strive to help couples understand the dance and how it is really the couples’ attempt to communicate their longing for close emotional connection to one another. The therapist will help you and your spouse end the pattern of attack-withdrawal and emotional abandonment. The therapist will teach a more useful way to understand one another’s emotional needs and vulnerabilities, and then to establish feelings of safety, trust, love, and emotional security.
Our Counselors Are Trained to Utilize:
Our marriage therapists utilize both the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) approaches when working with couples in therapy sessions. Both approaches require couples to work at improving their level of closeness to one another, being educated what makes a healthy relationship work, practicing those skills both in session and at home, understanding unhealthy relationship dynamics, and creating life long change. Your counselor will focus on what’s not working, what you’ve tried to make it work, and positive traits of your relationship. Expect to laugh at times, maybe cry, have times of deep revelations, create a more in depth understanding of your relationship and your spouse, and to be challenged to do things different than what you’ve done in the past. Here are links to find out more information about Gottman Method and EFCT.
We welcome you to give us a call to schedule a consultation with an expert, caring marriage counselor from Front Range Counseling.