Support for Spouses
of Sex Addicts
Does your husband or boyfriend need help overcoming pornography or other sex addictions? If so, you are in good company. Porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball, and basketball franchises. US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, & NBC (6.2 billion). Child pornography generates $3 billion annually.
(statistics from xxxchurch.com)
| Pornography Industry Statistics | ||
| Size of the Industry | $57.0 billion world-wide - $12.0 billion US | |
| Adult Videos | $20.0 billion | |
| Escort Services | $11.0 billion | |
| Magazines | $7.5 billion | |
| Sex Clubs | $5.0 billion | |
| Phone Sex | $4.5 billion | |
| Cable & Pay Per View | $2.5 billion | |
| Internet | $2.5 billion | |
| CD-ROM | $1.5 billion | |
| Novelties | $1.0 billion | |
| Other | $1.5 billion | |
You have already taken the first steps by recognizing the porn addiction and learning more about its cause and effect. Can there be healing? Can you keep the marriage/relationship together? Absolutely. Is there a lot of work to be done? Absolutely.
First, make a commitment to change. If you continue to do what you did yesterday, you will get yesterday's results.
Decide how you will get help and support.
Our counselors can teach you to set boundaries in your relationship if your partner is struggling with porn or other related sex addiciton. Sex addicts often believe that it is something “that everyone does” and “no one is getting hurt”. Most of them are unaware of the trail of devastation they leave behind.
Whether your partner gets help or not, you need to know:
- Sex addiction is his problem, not yours! You did nothing to cause him to turn to sexually acting out. He is fully responsible for his own decisions and his resulting addiction.
- You will feel worse before you begin to feel better. You will go through cycles of hating him and loving him. Know that this is perfectly normal reaction to discovering his sex addiction problem.
- Both of you need to heal. Although it is tempting to focus all attention on getting him help to stop his sex addiction behaviors, do what you can each day to get yourself on a healthier path as well.
- Respect his need for privacy as well as yours. There is a great deal of shame and secrecy with a sexual addiction. There is a sexual stigma in our society that is hard to overcome. Family members and close friends may not be your best advocates.
- Only through calm, open, honest and frank discussion will there be a platform for rebuilding trust. Let him know how his addiction has affected you and your family.
- That you will need support from other partners/spouses of sex addicts who fully understand your shock, anger, pain, and depression. Our groups provide a safe place for you to talk, cry, get angry, or whatever other emotions that you may want to express.
If you have taken the time to locate this site, there is a good chance you have felt at one time or another shame, guilt, abandonment, anger, and sorrow. You may have originally responded that this is your partner's issue and not yours and therefore, you don't need to seek counseling. Yet, you also haven't found the confidence to turn to friends for understanding, assistance or solace. We are here to provide you the support and understanding you need. Make an appointment today to speak with one of our counselors that have received specialized training for the partners and families of sex addicts. Contact us either via phone (303-933-5800) or through our web-contact form.